David Gowans Coaching and MentoringPersonal Development Archives

How To Stop Worrying About What Other People Think Of You

April 7, 2017 11:11 am Leave a Comment

Everyone wants to be liked and accepted, but many of us spend too much time and energy worrying about what other people think. You might not even realise you’re doing it, but these kinds of thoughts are unhealthy and stressful, making us feel unworthy and removing our attention from the present moment.

Here are four steps to help you stop worrying about what other people think, designed to help you maintain healthier and happier relationships with yourself and others.

Understand why you care.

In order to break the cycle, it’s important to understand where the energy is coming from. We’ve been socialised by a culture that sets norms for our belongingness. From birth, we’re taught we should act a certain way, dress a certain way, buy certain products, and adhere to certain ideologies to be liked and accepted. Social media brings the popularity contest to a whole new level, where how many friends we have, and how much they “like” us, is now publicly broadcast and recorded.

We are stressed and exhausted trying to manage our real and online personas to make sure that people continue to like and accept us. Many of us have spent our whole lives in this cycle, believing that a certain set of actions would bring us acceptance, only to repeatedly find that this is not the case. This is a form of social conditioning that we must now give ourselves permission to release!

Learn this mantra: What Other People Think About Me Is None of My Business!

The root of the problem with caring about what people think about you is that you’re attaching yourself to an outcome that you have absolutely no control over. That’s right, you have NO CONTROL over what people say, do and think about you! You can have the best intentions, or you can do something ridiculous: It doesn’t matter. You do not control the way people will respond, just as they do not control the way you respond to them.

The belief that you have any ownership of or control over people’s opinions about you comes from a place of ego. The reality is that what other people think about you is none of your business! Take a moment and begin to process and accept this perspective. See how the mantra makes you feel, and note the resistance you might feel from your ego. This is normal.

Direct the energy to something positive.

This new perspective frees up an immense amount of time and energy to live in the NOW and experience your authentic flow. It also breaks the cycle of conditioning that if you could only do X, say Y, and buy Z, people would like and accept you. Deep inside we know that true acceptance comes from within. So instead of caring so much if someone might be talking about you behind your back …

Breathe, repeat your mantra, and then direct the excess energy towards something positive, like following your passion and doing what you love! And if you don’t know what you’re passionate about, go and find out! Try a creative new activity, such making art, dancing, playing music, or building something. You’ll be amazed at how happy and free you feel when you spend time doing what you love instead of worrying about what other people think!

Practice daily self-love and acceptance.

When you’re living and creating from a place of genuine love and acceptance, you will know that what other people do, say, and think about you really has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. If you don’t like what they have to say about you, you can walk away knowing you are being true to yourself.

A regular, daily practice of self-love and self-acceptance is key for releasing attachment to outcomes and maintaining happy, healthy relationships. For many people, this journey begins with meditation, breath-work, yoga, eating healthy, spending time in nature, and creating art. No matter what you do, make sure to do something that reminds you how much you love yourself every day. As you feel more self-love and self-acceptance, you will attract more of it into your space.

This is a life-long mission, not an instant transformation that happens overnight, so please be kind and forgive yourself if you fall back into the cycle of worrying about what other people think. If you find yourself feeling attached to their opinions of you, just remember that their attitudes are unique and personal to them … and truly none of your business!

Good Vibes.

Make Money While you Sleep

September 4, 2016 6:17 pm Leave a Comment

Doesn’t it just sound amazing? Make money while you sleep! Well, it certainly is possible and not only that, its possible for anyone to achieve. Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot of hard work required and it may take some time but it doesn’t have to.

Finding a source of income that makes you money without being there or continuously working is the key to having a steady income and still having time to enjoy life. It’s normally one or the other – have time but no money, or have money but no time. Its just too common in this day and age that people work loads of hours, get promoted and make a good bit of money and have a couple of weeks holiday to recharge the batteries before getting back into the rat race and going through the motions of basically making money for someone else. With bills to pay and mouths to feed, many people get stuck in this routine and spend their hard earned cash by purchasing the latest gadget or clothing to fill that invisible void. They just don’t have ‘time’.

On the other hand, there are people who don’t have the career and income but have a lot more time on their hands. With a lack of funds in their bank account, they don’t have the opportunity to get out and do the things that they want, or to get on holiday.

Wouldn’t it be great to have a steady income and also the free time to choose the experiences you want to enjoy in life?

Now money doesn’t buy you happiness. I can certify that from my experience of becoming wealthy after a business success. But in this world system, money is required in order that you can have options to pay for the things and experiences that will supposedly make you happy.

So, what can you do to make that passive income to get cash paid into your account even when you are tucked up in bed anywhere in the world? Well that answer depends on you and what you determine your passion and skillset is. By setting up a side business that truly excites you, you can create a service or product based on something that you enjoy. That way, it does not feel like a job. The key is to create something that you work on once and then receive payment many times thereafter.

To skip forward a little, lets assume you already know your passion (if not please read my previous post Find the Passion Within You). You’ve found out what you’re good at and what you can share with the world and enjoy doing it. Here are 3 of my favourite online examples of how you can turn your ‘hobby’ into cash.

1. eBook

Get the laptop out and start writing. Write about something you are passionate about and share your experiences and advice. This could be a training course about knitting or how to improve your golf swing. Absolutely anything. There are good options out there of platforms that will sell your eBook for you, the most common being Amazon. Even with their hefty 30% commission, you can still make a nice return since they do have a huge audience. Once you have written your eBook and had someone review and edit it, you can easily create an account and list your masterpiece online. You don’t even need to spend any money at this stage, however you will want to consider some marketing online to attract buyers. A simple holding web page can be created that showcases your eBook with links to the online store. You can then place online ads to attract traffic to your webpage by using Google Adwords, Facebook or other social media advertising.

2. Affiliate Marketing

This takes some time to setup and can be a slow burner but if you set up the right product, attract the right audience and have the right structure in place, you can be earning a tidy sum in no time. I’ll cover this subject in a lot more detail in another post, so here is a short review for now….. Affiliate marketing is a type of performance-based marketing in which a business rewards one or more affiliates for each visitor or customer brought to the business. The key here is to collect email addresses from people who are genuinely interested in the topic/product that you are talking about. To do this you need to setup a website/webpage with appropriate content and a sign up form. To get more people signing up, its advisable to give away a free gift such as an eBook, product or video. Once you have your list of email addresses, you can use Mailchimp (or similar) to manage emails sent to your list which would contain offers on new products and services that you’ll receive a small commission on should any of your list click and purchase. As I said, it’s a small commission so the key is to have a very high number of addresses on your list to make it worthwhile.

3. Create/Buy a product and sell it online

The success is mostly in the purchasing! Buy the right thing at the best price. If you can create a niche product then fantastic but this could take lots of time not to mention the cost to develop the product. Therefore, if you can find a product in a niche market, preferably in something you enjoy, then you can really make this work. Alibaba is a good source of bulk products that you can purchase from places like China. Setup an online store on a platform such as Shopify or BigCommerce to list your product(s) and also embed the store into your own simple website. At a cost, you can arrange for a dropshipping company to hold the items and send them out when you get an order. This could take a big chunk of your profit but if you have your numbers right then it does take away all the hassle of handling the goods and lets you focus on finding the next big selling product! Since payments are made online you’ll need a merchant account (Paypal etc) which is relatively easy to setup and then you can look forward to seeing your sales reports!

In summary, to Make money while you Sleep is possible, but there is a lot of hard work required and also a good bit of research required to find a new niche with more profit and less competition. If you would like some help to set any of these examples in place, or to work out the product/service that would best suit your skills then please do get in touch and sign up to my newsletters.

Peace and Good Vibes

15 new daily habits to boost your life today

July 1, 2016 9:39 am Leave a Comment

Isn’t it easy to get caught up in the normal old routine and feel trapped in the ‘same old same old’? How many times have you set good intentions to start a new routine, a new diet or exercise plan, and then after (usually a very) short time you go back to your old ways? I know, I have been there many times!

So if you’re determined to make a change in your life now, then read on and incorporate these new habits into your daily routine. Once you have introduced new actions into your daily life they will soon become a habit. Wouldn’t it be great to replace your old habits with positive and productive new habits? Start with a couple at a time until they become regular. No saying “I will try” – get it done as it’s the result that matters!!!

Good Luck and Good Vibes.

1. Wake up early

Ensuring you have a sufficient number of hours of sleep the night before, wake up early and start the day with a positive mind-set. You can achieve so much more earlier in the morning when you don’t have the distractions, and the feeling of satisfaction you get when you’ve completed most of your tasks before other people have even started their day is transforming!

2. Drink water with lemon

Having a glass of water with lemon first thing in the morning helps rid your body of toxins that have been stored overnight. Not only does it aid your digestive tract, it also boosts your metabolism, helping you feel energised sooner. A couple of slices of lemon squeezed into the glass is enough to freshen up your morning.

3. Say out loud the things you’re grateful for

From the law of attraction, being grateful for the things you have will bring more great things to you. So start your day by saying out loud 10 things that you are grateful for in your life. Don’t think too hard about it, you can be grateful for the simple things in life. Just say the first thing that comes to mind and you will soon be comfortable with this new habit. Finish off the routine by saying Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

4. Write down your priorities for the day

We don’t want you to write lists about lists, so keep your to-do list short and focus on the priorities. Stick to no more that a top 10 list as these are priorities after all. I find that writing down an estimated activity time down against each action helps to plan the day better, and also keeps you motivated to get the actions complete. Your sense of achievement increases when you complete the tasks on time, and you can then write a new list of priorities. It really does work wonders!

5. Read your Desires List

First of all you should write down all the things you desire in life. Not just the ‘things’ you want but how you want to be living, where you want to go and who you want to be. Each day you should read out this list and truly feel that you are already living them (this is important). This will work on your subconscious and you will start to attract these things into your life. By reviewing this daily you are focusing on what you really want in life in a positive way, which will result in positive outcomes.

6. Meditate for 10 minutes

Having stillness for only 10 minutes each day will have huge positive impacts on your life. Being in touch with the self will help you to become more mindful and aware of what is actually happening. You can control and decrease unnecessary stress that today’s busy life brings. You will gain more control over your emotions and be able to make better life decisions. We cannot control the thoughts that enter our minds, but we can control how we react to these thoughts, and meditation is a great way to slow down the pace of your life and live at peace.

7. Exercise

Getting up and moving around every day is one of the most essential daily habits you should get into. Not only will it keep you fit and healthy, but it will add time to your life and provide endorphins to make you happy. Yoga is my personal favourite but no matter what you like, just make sure that you build it into your routine. Similar to meditation, exercise calms the mind and breaks down any stress in the body and mind. Joining a health club also has great social benefits and you will feel great meeting new people.

8. Smile

Smiling can make you happy even when you are not. The simple act of smiling sends a message to your brain that you are happy, and when you are happy your body sends out feel-good endorphins. Smiling also makes other people happy and brightens up your day without you even realising it. So be conscious of your mood and make an effort to smile throughout the day and especially when you come into contact with people.

9. Talk to people

Our brains are literally created to connect with others. So while it may be great to have some alone time or simply switch to autopilot when going through your daily commute, the truth is that we crave connection. Satisfy your innate desire and the desire of others by reaching out and talking to strangers. A lack of human connection can make you feel depressed, alone and isolated so pick up the phone and make sure you speak to more people every day.

10. Do at least one thing that brings you joy

Do something you love every day of your life. Treat yourself and be good to yourself. Our daily lives are full of things that we often don’t feel like doing, so make sure you take some time for yourself and do something that you love. Be ‘in the moment’ and really appreciate doing this thing. It could be something quick and simple but it will make you feel great.

11. Eat healthy – make it nutritious

Consider, really consider what you are putting into your body. Learn more about nutrition and cut out the foods that do not provide you with nutrition. Many people are over fed but under nourished. Rather than follow new fad diets, just list the sort of things that you will not eat such as processed foods and high sugar content foods. Buy a juicer and make juices every day to get the nutrition your body needs. Cut out fizzy drinks and drink water instead. These small changes will make huge improvements to your wellbeing.

12. Listen to motivational audio

It is easy to fall back into old patterns and get lost in thoughts. Therefore, listening to positive motivational audio helps to bring your thought patterns back to the healthy state you desire. You can listen to audiobooks or even search for some good material on you tube. Just like keeping your body fit, your mind needs constant positive exercise too!

13. Connect with nature

Spending time outdoors in nature is a great way to obtain an improved sense of wellbeing. Researchers have found that regardless of culture people gravitate to images of nature. Our inborn affiliation for nature may explain why we prefer to live in houses with particular views of the natural world.

14. Be of service to someone

Ask yourself each day – ‘Who can I serve today’? Try to make someone’s day, every day—and not only for their benefit. Kindness actually has numerous health benefits. Plus, who doesn’t like helping someone? It puts a smile on everyone’s face!

15. Visualise tomorrow

This should be done at night before bed. By visualising what you want to achieve the next day, you program your subconscious mind which will prepare you for the morning. You will become more effective and more productive because you’re ready and everything is within your reach. It will also help you to spring out of bed motivated and knowing what you want to achieve.

Why you should use a Business Mentor

June 29, 2016 10:37 am Leave a Comment

People like to do things by themselves, to be independent and often don’t seek help. In today’s working environment, there seems to be huge pressure placed on results and often people don’t have that much time to plan accordingly as they’re caught up, head down, churning out work to meet the usually tight deadlines set. The week flies by and you don’t seem to have achieved a great deal of those good intentions set at the beginning of the week. Sound familiar?

Today, business leaders face more challenges than ever due to the high demand our system places on results, and if not handled properly, this can lead to a disaster in the business, and uncontrollable stress to the individual.

Every great athlete is surrounded by coaches, mentors and advisors. In a business context, you can think of a business coach as a mentor or advisor who can help you set goals, implement strategies and track your progress so that you can reach your goals in the shortest possible time. You also benefit from a non-emotional objective view of your business and their experience in handling a vast range of situations.

I used a business coach, a very good business coach I must add, when I had taken my company to a reasonable level, and the results from a few months’ of coaching sessions changed my life and my business. You can read more on my business success in the website, but I’d like to share the main reasons on why I think it’s imperative that you should use a Business Mentor.

1. It’s tough at the Top

It can be a lonely job at the top of an organisation and many entrepreneurs I have spoken to admit that they wish they had someone to ‘bounce’ ideas off because often they are unable to discuss certain issues with people in their organisation. If the going gets tough, then the business leader needs to maintain a positive attitude among their team and conceal ‘delicate’ issues so that morale is not affected.

There may also be certain topics and discussions that they are unable to have with their team due to confidentiality, especially for new ventures or partnerships. So whilst the team are working away on the day-to-day activities of the business, the buck stops with the leader and therefore there is always that added pressure.

2. What got you Here, may not get you There

Running a small business has many different dynamics to running a large business, and with the typical goal to grow your business, there comes a time when you need to learn new approaches on how to manage your business.

When running a small business with a handful of employees, the leader tends to take on many tasks themselves and adopt a repetitive approach on how to lead. Many entrepreneurs (falsely) think that because they are the leader that they must know everything and be able to do all types of tasks from operations to finance and HR. But this often leads to delay and failure because people are consumed by tasks that just don’t suit their skills and they lose focus and enthusiasm for the main duties of the business.

Using a coach who will be looking at things from a different perspective will help to identify which areas of the business can be outsourced or delegated so that the leader can work on the areas that suit their skills more and to concentrate on the future strategy too.

3. Personal Growth

Being a good business leader starts with having a good personal attitude. If you look after yourself then you can look after your business more effectively. Using a coach allows you to not only focus on the business goals but probably more importantly focus on your personal goals too such as health, fitness and general wellbeing. There really is no point achieving successful business goals whilst living a stressful and unhealthy lifestyle or enduring toxic relationships.

You can learn new positive habits, live a more balanced life having time for your family and for yourself, whilst still achieving positive growth and results in your business. Achieving this ‘balance’ is one of my definitions of success.

4. Focus

Many people get caught up in the detail and day-to-day running of the business and sometimes all they seem to be doing is putting out fires. It seems normal to them and they will continue in this loop.

If you don’t know where you want to go then how will you ever find your destination?

A coach will assist you to set clear goals of where you want the business to be in the future, and they will help you to focus on this rather than the more trivial matters that take up your time. By focusing on the priorities you will achieve your goals so much more quickly and be better organised. You will learn to manage your time better so that you can capitalise on new ideas and creativity.

5. Let go of the Rope

How hard do you find it to delegate? Do you say that it’ll take longer to show someone what to do, so I’m better off just doing it myself, plus I’ll do it the way I want it? It is very common to be in this mode and people often take too much work on and can never seem to get on top of things.

By passing on tasks to your team, not only will you release lots of time for yourself but you will also make your team feel so much more valued and part of the company. Providing ownership to your team may seem daunting at first, but you’ll be amazed at the results once you finally do pass on important tasks and decision making.

By working with an experienced coach you can identify an action plan on how to create more time for yourself and when and who to delegate other activities to.

6. Accountability

When you don’t have anyone to answer to, its easy to slack and allow procrastination to creep in. Then it becomes a habit and you wonder why things are not happening for the business. You may set new to-do lists and have good intentions but because there is not much accountability then it often results in an under par performance.

Having someone to check in with every other week provides you with this accountability, someone independent for you to answer to. We all perform a lot better when we know there is a deadline or there is someone to answer to. This will undoubtedly lead you to gain the confidence, assertiveness and self motivation you need.

7. Value for Money

Finding the right coach is important. Someone who has a track record of success in business and someone who has had positive results with their clients. Many coaches talk the talk and learn the theory but may not necessarily have any real business experience

Of course, there is a financial commitment, and you may think that your business just cannot afford this overhead. However, when you consider that you can make instant improvements in your business, gain more direction and confidence, lead a more balanced lifestyle, pass on more trivial tasks to your team, or drop some unnecessary tasks, and deliver greater results overall, then it shows that an investment in a good business coach can be an investment well made.

Don’t be too proud to ask for help, for that request may just be the answer you have subconsciously been seeking. Good Luck and Good Vibes!

Find the Passion Within You

May 17, 2016 1:52 pm Leave a Comment

What is it that drives you? What is it that makes your heart race? What is that passion locked away inside of you, bursting to get out, if only you didn’t have so many other things to do today? Or another way to look at it – what would you be doing with your life if you had say, £25k paid into your bank account every month forever? This takes the pressure off a little and helps you think of things that you wouldn’t normally have thought were possible.

We all have a passion, some people however don’t know what it is. But deep down we do know what our passion is. Life can be tough and these days it seems to rush past at a hundred miles an hour, so it can be difficult to actually stop and think about yourself. Too much work, more overtime required, kids have activities tonight, bills to pay, tv to watch, new stuff to buy, less food to try, are all reasons why we put things off. “I’ll focus on me once I finish this, or once that happens” people say to themselves.

Unfortunately with life’s pressures, money plays a factor and people feel helpless to do what they truly love – what they were born to do. The busyness of life closes the mind and prevents that creative flair breaking through. The following process may just help you when searching for the passion within.

List down your talents

Think about the thing that you have a natural aptitude for, and that you enjoy. Forget about what you are good at but don’t really like doing so much. Think about the things that you have a flair for that spark joy or can happily occupy you. Identifying things you love that you’re good at is a great way to reveal potential passions. Don’t be concerned if what you love isn’t practical or doesn’t seem a good idea for making a living. That part comes a lot later.

It should also be noted that you don’t have to be good at something for it to be a passion. You don’t have to ever earn a penny of income from it either. Talent can simply be a clue. When it comes to your passions, the only thing that matters is that you enjoy them.

Follow your excitement

Do you remember what you enjoyed as a child? A child will be fully present in the moment playing their game until they are done with it and then will quickly move on to the next thing without even thinking about it. Kids are naturally in tune with what excites them. You need to rekindle that relationship with your inner child and play with one thing to the next and see what comes up for you along the way.

When you follow your excitement, you’ll find that the path often changes – and that’s a good thing. While some of the experiences that excited you as a child or teenager may still be going strong, there are others that you may have lost your passion for, and that’s okay. It can be difficult to let go of things, especially if a part of your identity is wrapped up in them. Let go of your old passions, make a new list and you will make room for your true excitement to express itself.

Focus on a theme

Once you have found something that excites you, then focus on that theme:

Sports
Music
Teaching

Art
Business
Travel
Philanthropy
and so on…

Whatever it is that excites you, it will be part of an overall theme that you can connect it with that will help you learn how to discover your passion in life. The truth is that many of you are probably already doing something that is your passion but because of how society defines a “career,” you have (without knowing it) discounted it not realising that you already found it but have minimized it thinking that “There is no way I could make money from doing this”. You would be amazed at how much your subconscious rules your life without even knowing it.

Have fun, make it an adventure

From my experience I witness people putting too much pressure on themselves to find their passion, as if it will finally make them happy. Instead of relaxing and making it fun, they become too attached to the outcome and don’t allow the creativity to flourish.

When you deliberately open yourself to noticing things you might enjoy doing, don’t be afraid of getting it wrong. Life is an adventure, always learning and growing as you go, and a lot of the time through results that didn’t quite go to plan. So keep trying new things, have fun, and learn along the way!

Make it happen

So now that you have worked out what your passion is, the next step is working out how will you go about making the changes in your life so that you can live your passion. You can start surrounding yourself with the type of people that share your passions, join a new club, go for lessons, go back to college. More importantly is to change how you balance your working life, unless of course your passion is your job (in which case you’ve probably already solved this!). Despite what many people may tell you, you don’t need to work every hour under the sun. You can do things smarter, prioritise, and spend time on the things that really matter. That should free up some time to put towards your dreams.

When you find your passion in life, it might turn out that you want to start your own business. In working life, you are either fulfilling your dream or supporting someone else’s. Don’t let the fear of starting your own business scare you into not trying. With technology, you live in a time that is easier to take your idea and turn it into a business, so why not Find the Passion Within You?

Peace and Good Vibes

David Gowans Coaching & Mentoring offers an introductory coaching session to help people to identify their passion and turn it into a business. Find out more here.

Launch of David Gowans Coaching & Mentoring

10:02 am Leave a Comment

It has been two years since I left the company that I created which eventually gave me the status of millionaire at 38. But things have changed now. I no longer crave those material things for satisfaction. I no longer aim to have the status or be ‘the man’. Things have certainly changed. I sold my fancy car and now drive a Volkswagen campervan, I downsized my home and love my new apartment. I sold some and gave away lots more of my ‘things’. This stuff just doesn’t float my boat anymore.

I live a great life. I’ve just spent the last four months in Brazil, escaping the Scottish winter. I have the means to be anywhere in the world when I want, and Brazil was a great choice (more on my experiences on other blogs to come). However, something was missing. After being the leader of a fast growing business and taking it to a successful sale in 2012, I had lost my purpose. My aim was always to grow the business, make lots of money and then travel the world forever. And the last few years I did travel a lot. But something was still missing – my Purpose. I dabbled with new business start-ups, gave some coaching sessions to entrepreneurs and worked on some property projects, but I didn’t commit enough to anything because it didn’t excite my passions within.

The reason for coming to Brazil was two-fold – to escape the dark, wet and windy winter of Scotland, and to truly find my purpose and next step of my life. And it didn’t take long to find it. I dreamt up this website and instantly got excited about the opportunity to pass on my many experiences in business and life that could help other people. It wasn’t about making lots of money anymore, as that didn’t make me any happier. I’m excited because I get the chance to see people achieve things that they never thought possible. They can learn simple new daily habits that will make a big positive difference in their life.

For entrepreneurs, I will offer to design their exit from their business, whether that is a sale in the coming years, or to achieve freedom by empowering the existing team to take over the day to day running. One of my specialities is strategy and creating a detailed plan of what needs to be done to get the business ready for exit.

For employees, I will help to find that passion within you that can perhaps lead you to a new profession, a business start up, or just help to make your job more enjoyable. By changing your perception on work, you can really start to enjoy it more.

Like other coaches, I will of course offer coaching sessions via Skype etc. but the number of clients will be limited. So the aim is to provide free advice, ideas and news via the Blogs. These blogs are based on my three passions of Business, Life and Travel. I already have a number of topics to write about based on some questions that people have sent me so far, and I will continue to write about the things that my community are asking me. So if you want to start making the desired changes in your life and achieve that Success that you’ve always wanted, then sign up for free, get in touch and share your views with me.

Peace and Love.

Tag Archive: Personal Development