Category Archive: Life

1. How To Stop Worrying About What Other People Think Of You

   April 7, 2017 11:11 am Leave a Comment

   Everyone wants to be liked and accepted, but many of us spend too much time and energy worrying about what other people think. You might not even realise you’re doing it, but these kinds of thoughts are unhealthy and stressful, making us feel unworthy and removing our attention from the present moment.

   Here are four steps to help you stop worrying about what other people think, designed to help you maintain healthier and happier relationships with yourself and others.

   1. Understand why you care.

   In order to break the cycle, it’s important to understand where the energy is coming from. We’ve been socialised by a culture that sets norms for our belongingness. From birth, we’re taught we should act a certain way, dress a certain way, buy certain products, and adhere to certain ideologies to be liked and accepted. Social media brings the popularity contest to a whole new level, where how many friends we have, and how much they “like” us, is now publicly broadcast and recorded.

   We are stressed and exhausted trying to manage our real and online personas to make sure that people continue to like and accept us. Many of us have spent our whole lives in this cycle, believing that a certain set of actions would bring us acceptance, only to repeatedly find that this is not the case. This is a form of social conditioning that we must now give ourselves permission to release!

   2. Learn this mantra: What Other People Think About Me Is None of My Business!

   The root of the problem with caring about what people think about you is that you’re attaching yourself to an outcome that you have absolutely no control over. That’s right, you have NO CONTROL over what people say, do and think about you! You can have the best intentions, or you can do something ridiculous: It doesn’t matter. You do not control the way people will respond, just as they do not control the way you respond to them.

   The belief that you have any ownership of or control over people’s opinions about you comes from a place of ego. The reality is that what other people think about you is none of your business! Take a moment and begin to process and accept this perspective. See how the mantra makes you feel, and note the resistance you might feel from your ego. This is normal.

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   3. Direct the energy to something positive.

   This new perspective frees up an immense amount of time and energy to live in the NOW and experience your authentic flow. It also breaks the cycle of conditioning that if you could only do X, say Y, and buy Z, people would like and accept you. Deep inside we know that true acceptance comes from within. So instead of caring so much if someone might be talking about you behind your back …

   Breathe, repeat your mantra, and then direct the excess energy towards something positive, like following your passion and doing what you love! And if you don’t know what you’re passionate about, go and find out! Try a creative new activity, such making art, dancing, playing music, or building something. You’ll be amazed at how happy and free you feel when you spend time doing what you love instead of worrying about what other people think!

   4. Practice daily self-love and acceptance.

   When you’re living and creating from a place of genuine love and acceptance, you will know that what other people do, say, and think about you really has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. If you don’t like what they have to say about you, you can walk away knowing you are being true to yourself.

   A regular, daily practice of self-love and self-acceptance is key for releasing attachment to outcomes and maintaining happy, healthy relationships. For many people, this journey begins with meditation, breath-work, yoga, eating healthy, spending time in nature, and creating art. No matter what you do, make sure to do something that reminds you how much you love yourself every day. As you feel more self-love and self-acceptance, you will attract more of it into your space.

   This is a life-long mission, not an instant transformation that happens overnight, so please be kind and forgive yourself if you fall back into the cycle of worrying about what other people think. If you find yourself feeling attached to their opinions of you, just remember that their attitudes are unique and personal to them … and truly none of your business!

   Good Vibes.

    

2. 15 new daily habits to boost your life today

   July 1, 2016 9:39 am Leave a Comment

   Isn’t it easy to get caught up in the normal old routine and feel trapped in the ‘same old same old’? How many times have you set good intentions to start a new routine, a new diet or exercise plan, and then after (usually a very) short time you go back to your old ways? I know, I have been there many times!

   So if you’re determined to make a change in your life now, then read on and incorporate these new habits into your daily routine. Once you have introduced new actions into your daily life they will soon become a habit. Wouldn’t it be great to replace your old habits with positive and productive new habits? Start with a couple at a time until they become regular. No saying “I will try” – get it done as it’s the result that matters!!!

   Good Luck and Good Vibes.

   1. Wake up early

   Ensuring you have a sufficient number of hours of sleep the night before, wake up early and start the day with a positive mind-set. You can achieve so much more earlier in the morning when you don’t have the distractions, and the feeling of satisfaction you get when you’ve completed most of your tasks before other people have even started their day is transforming!

   2. Drink water with lemon

   Having a glass of water with lemon first thing in the morning helps rid your body of toxins that have been stored overnight. Not only does it aid your digestive tract, it also boosts your metabolism, helping you feel energised sooner. A couple of slices of lemon squeezed into the glass is enough to freshen up your morning.

   3. Say out loud the things you’re grateful for

   From the law of attraction, being grateful for the things you have will bring more great things to you. So start your day by saying out loud 10 things that you are grateful for in your life. Don’t think too hard about it, you can be grateful for the simple things in life. Just say the first thing that comes to mind and you will soon be comfortable with this new habit. Finish off the routine by saying Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

   4. Write down your priorities for the day

   We don’t want you to write lists about lists, so keep your to-do list short and focus on the priorities. Stick to no more that a top 10 list as these are priorities after all. I find that writing down an estimated activity time down against each action helps to plan the day better, and also keeps you motivated to get the actions complete. Your sense of achievement increases when you complete the tasks on time, and you can then write a new list of priorities. It really does work wonders!

   5. Read your Desires List

   First of all you should write down all the things you desire in life. Not just the ‘things’ you want but how you want to be living, where you want to go and who you want to be. Each day you should read out this list and truly feel that you are already living them (this is important). This will work on your subconscious and you will start to attract these things into your life. By reviewing this daily you are focusing on what you really want in life in a positive way, which will result in positive outcomes.

   Related Article : Why is a Business Exit Strategy so Important?

   6. Meditate for 10 minutes

   Having stillness for only 10 minutes each day will have huge positive impacts on your life. Being in touch with the self will help you to become more mindful and aware of what is actually happening. You can control and decrease unnecessary stress that today’s busy life brings. You will gain more control over your emotions and be able to make better life decisions. We cannot control the thoughts that enter our minds, but we can control how we react to these thoughts, and meditation is a great way to slow down the pace of your life and live at peace.

   7. Exercise

   Getting up and moving around every day is one of the most essential daily habits you should get into. Not only will it keep you fit and healthy, but it will add time to your life and provide endorphins to make you happy. Yoga is my personal favourite but no matter what you like, just make sure that you build it into your routine. Similar to meditation, exercise calms the mind and breaks down any stress in the body and mind. Joining a health club also has great social benefits and you will feel great meeting new people.

   8. Smile

   Smiling can make you happy even when you are not. The simple act of smiling sends a message to your brain that you are happy, and when you are happy your body sends out feel-good endorphins. Smiling also makes other people happy and brightens up your day without you even realising it. So be conscious of your mood and make an effort to smile throughout the day and especially when you come into contact with people.

   9. Talk to people

   Our brains are literally created to connect with others. So while it may be great to have some alone time or simply switch to autopilot when going through your daily commute, the truth is that we crave connection. Satisfy your innate desire and the desire of others by reaching out and talking to strangers. A lack of human connection can make you feel depressed, alone and isolated so pick up the phone and make sure you speak to more people every day.

   10. Do at least one thing that brings you joy

   Do something you love every day of your life. Treat yourself and be good to yourself. Our daily lives are full of things that we often don’t feel like doing, so make sure you take some time for yourself and do something that you love. Be ‘in the moment’ and really appreciate doing this thing. It could be something quick and simple but it will make you feel great.

   11. Eat healthy – make it nutritious

   Consider, really consider what you are putting into your body. Learn more about nutrition and cut out the foods that do not provide you with nutrition. Many people are over fed but under nourished. Rather than follow new fad diets, just list the sort of things that you will not eat such as processed foods and high sugar content foods. Buy a juicer and make juices every day to get the nutrition your body needs. Cut out fizzy drinks and drink water instead. These small changes will make huge improvements to your wellbeing.

   12. Listen to motivational audio

   It is easy to fall back into old patterns and get lost in thoughts. Therefore, listening to positive motivational audio helps to bring your thought patterns back to the healthy state you desire. You can listen to audiobooks or even search for some good material on you tube. Just like keeping your body fit, your mind needs constant positive exercise too!

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   13. Connect with nature

   Spending time outdoors in nature is a great way to obtain an improved sense of wellbeing. Researchers have found that regardless of culture people gravitate to images of nature. Our inborn affiliation for nature may explain why we prefer to live in houses with particular views of the natural world.

   14. Be of service to someone

   Ask yourself each day – ‘Who can I serve today’? Try to make someone’s day, every day—and not only for their benefit. Kindness actually has numerous health benefits. Plus, who doesn’t like helping someone? It puts a smile on everyone’s face!

   15. Visualise tomorrow

   This should be done at night before bed. By visualising what you want to achieve the next day, you program your subconscious mind which will prepare you for the morning. You will become more effective and more productive because you’re ready and everything is within your reach. It will also help you to spring out of bed motivated and knowing what you want to achieve.

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3. Find the Passion Within You

   May 17, 2016 1:52 pm Leave a Comment

   What is it that drives you? What is it that makes your heart race? What is that passion locked away inside of you, bursting to get out, if only you didn’t have so many other things to do today? Or another way to look at it – what would you be doing with your life if you had say, £25k paid into your bank account every month forever? This takes the pressure off a little and helps you think of things that you wouldn’t normally have thought were possible.

   We all have a passion, some people however don’t know what it is. But deep down we do know what our passion is. Life can be tough and these days it seems to rush past at a hundred miles an hour, so it can be difficult to actually stop and think about yourself. Too much work, more overtime required, kids have activities tonight, bills to pay, tv to watch, new stuff to buy, less food to try, are all reasons why we put things off. “I’ll focus on me once I finish this, or once that happens” people say to themselves.

   Unfortunately with life’s pressures, money plays a factor and people feel helpless to do what they truly love – what they were born to do. The busyness of life closes the mind and prevents that creative flair breaking through. The following process may just help you when searching for the passion within.

   1. List down your talents

   Think about the thing that you have a natural aptitude for, and that you enjoy. Forget about what you are good at but don’t really like doing so much. Think about the things that you have a flair for that spark joy or can happily occupy you. Identifying things you love that you’re good at is a great way to reveal potential passions. Don’t be concerned if what you love isn’t practical or doesn’t seem a good idea for making a living. That part comes a lot later.

   It should also be noted that you don’t have to be good at something for it to be a passion. You don’t have to ever earn a penny of income from it either. Talent can simply be a clue. When it comes to your passions, the only thing that matters is that you enjoy them.

   2. Follow your excitement

   Do you remember what you enjoyed as a child? A child will be fully present in the moment playing their game until they are done with it and then will quickly move on to the next thing without even thinking about it. Kids are naturally in tune with what excites them. You need to rekindle that relationship with your inner child and play with one thing to the next and see what comes up for you along the way.

   When you follow your excitement, you’ll find that the path often changes – and that’s a good thing. While some of the experiences that excited you as a child or teenager may still be going strong, there are others that you may have lost your passion for, and that’s okay. It can be difficult to let go of things, especially if a part of your identity is wrapped up in them. Let go of your old passions, make a new list and you will make room for your true excitement to express itself.

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   3. Focus on a theme

   Once you have found something that excites you, then focus on that theme:

   Sports
   Music
   Teaching

   Art
   Business
   Travel
   Philanthropy
   and so on…

   Whatever it is that excites you, it will be part of an overall theme that you can connect it with that will help you learn how to discover your passion in life. The truth is that many of you are probably already doing something that is your passion but because of how society defines a “career,” you have (without knowing it) discounted it not realising that you already found it but have minimized it thinking that “There is no way I could make money from doing this”. You would be amazed at how much your subconscious rules your life without even knowing it.

   4. Have fun, make it an adventure

   From my experience I witness people putting too much pressure on themselves to find their passion, as if it will finally make them happy. Instead of relaxing and making it fun, they become too attached to the outcome and don’t allow the creativity to flourish.

   When you deliberately open yourself to noticing things you might enjoy doing, don’t be afraid of getting it wrong. Life is an adventure, always learning and growing as you go, and a lot of the time through results that didn’t quite go to plan. So keep trying new things, have fun, and learn along the way!

   5. Make it happen

   So now that you have worked out what your passion is, the next step is working out how will you go about making the changes in your life so that you can live your passion. You can start surrounding yourself with the type of people that share your passions, join a new club, go for lessons, go back to college. More importantly is to change how you balance your working life, unless of course your passion is your job (in which case you’ve probably already solved this!). Despite what many people may tell you, you don’t need to work every hour under the sun. You can do things smarter, prioritise, and spend time on the things that really matter. That should free up some time to put towards your dreams.

   When you find your passion in life, it might turn out that you want to start your own business. In working life, you are either fulfilling your dream or supporting someone else’s. Don’t let the fear of starting your own business scare you into not trying. With technology, you live in a time that is easier to take your idea and turn it into a business, so why not Find the Passion Within You?

   Peace and Good Vibes

   David Gowans Coaching & Mentoring offers an introductory coaching session to help people to identify their passion and turn it into a business. Find out more here.